Not many but perhaps enough...

Well, I've been thinking... I didn't quite receive the barrage of comments of support that I expected, but what the heck - my blog will continue.

Thanks to the 4 of you (Iain, Andy, Derek & Mariken) who expressed your support of my blog - without you it just wouldn't be worth it (actually if I had only 1 reader I'd probably still continue anyway!). Oh and a special thanks to the 2 random guys who also supported the continuation.

Seeing as it's a brand new year, I've decided to continue my blogging elsewhere, in my new-look blog. You can find this at:

http://funkydunky.blogspot.com

I felt I had to continue as I've a lot to get off my chest, but don't worry - not every post will be about dodgy sleep patterns and mood swings!!

Enjoy!

Is there anybody out there?

Is it worth it? Writing a blog, I mean? I can't help but notice the lack of comments I've received on my blog recently, and it leads me to the inevitable question of whether or not anyone actually still reads this? Perhaps you do but you're shy or perhaps I just haven't posted anything which warrants feedback, speculation or argument recently.

I've decided to stop posting unless I receive at least 10 comments from readers demanding that I continue or their lives will simply not be worth living (or something like that). I don't do this for my own self-gratification. If there isn't anyone out there reading this then I'll keep details of my exciting life to myself instead of making them public.

So, is it worth it?

Starting to settle

I now feel as if I'm settling into the whole work routine thing. Although I've been able to go to bed early and sleep straight away and wake early, there has still been the extreme mood swings. For example, on Tuesday I felt wierd in that I felt tensed up and restless, and couldn't think straight. On Wednesday I felt good, normal. On Thursday, I once again felt like on Tuesday, except worse! On Friday (yesterday) I felt good again! I just hope I get to where I feel consistently good, instead of this randomness. A big plus is that I no longer feel tired during the day - a very big plus!

As for the job, it's going fine so far. we've had 2 weeks of training with another 2 to go. The training itself is undemanding and the trainers are pretty laid-back, usually letting us away early. I'm in with a good crowd of people, and get on with just about anyone and have made a few good friends. Nearly everyone is very chatty and extrovert, so that's a good thing as far as I'm concerned. On Wednesday we had "storm training" in the ScottishPower place in Cathcart, which is a whole lot better than the Citypoint building in the city centre. On Thursday we were in the fancy Moathouse hotel (beside SECC) to learn more about telephone manner. We were given a free buffet and an infinite supply of coffee, from vending machines which put Costa and Starbucks to shame! On Friday it was back to Citypoint where at one point we listened in to live calls for 2 hours which was interesting.

One thing I'm becoming concerned about is that I've been smoking a lot recently. As most of my friends at work are smokers, I've got a tendency to go outside for a smoke at break times. I really don't want to become properly addicted and might have to go cold turkey soon, and rid myself of the evil weed! I can see how easy it is though for people to start, just for something to do at break time. I've always been partial to a ciggy when drinking but I may try to give that up also. I've been neglecting the gym also and intend to start going 3 times a week, now that I'm getting used to the routine of getting up in the morning and no longer feel tired during the day.

I'm back in Prestwick at the moment. Was out after work last night to the pub with some colleagues, then down to Ayr to see the girlfriend (which unfortunately meant ending up in Club de Mar). Got a bit of a hangover today but should be going round to her place tonight to watch films. I'll probably head back up to Glasgow tomorrow, and probably end up playing Pro Ev 4 all day or some similar mindless activity.

In flux

It's been a strange week, mentally.

As a consequence of me having to force myself into a routine of getting up early in the morning and going to bed early, my mood has been fluctuating quite randomly. On Sunday, Monday and Tuesday nights I didn't get much sleep at all, but Wednesday (last) night was the first night which I did finally get a good kip (about 8 hours). I'm hoping I can maintain this now and I've passed the 3-4 day threshold so hopefully things will stabilise.

The symptoms? Well, mainly confusion, paranoia, depression and a tense restless feeling all over my body - not particularly pleasant. On both Monday and Tuesday I felt very tired all day (getting up at 7.15am is not my idea of fun), but actually did feel mentally quite good (could think clearly, generally contented, excited about the new job, in a sociable mood). However, Wednesday (yesterday) was the nasty one. I started the day in the freezing cold, with a feeling of dread (thinking "oh no, I can't handle this!") and all day I felt extremely tensed up and just couldn't relax. I couldn't think straight at all and felt spaced out. When I feel like that I really want to hide away in a dark room somewhere, out of sight, but being a call centre building and doing group activities all day, there was no chance of that! When talking to people I couldn't make eye contact and could barely string a sentence together! Not a nice experience.

After a decent sleep, today was quite good. In the morning, I felt similar to Wednesday, but come the afternoon, my mood had stabilised to that of contentment and happiness. It's scary when such mood swings affect your perception of the world, but I'm hoping as my body adjusts to the regularity, all that will pass.

As for the job, it's going ok. The first couple of days dragged on, but now the shifts seem to breeze past - which is a good thing. One real perk to working is that it feels so damn good when I'm finished and the shift is over. Leisure time really means something to me now! As I mentioned before, we are doing 4 weeks training before starting properly, but I've spent most of the past 4 days yawning and twiddling my thumbs. We have just been familiarising with the customer database system (which, by the way, is produced by Graham Technology), so far, and doing silly "ice-breaker" things. It's hardly rocket science. So far, I've chatted to a lot of my colleagues but not made any real friends - I think this is largely due to my mood swings impairing my social skills.

I haven't been to the gym for 6 days now, largely due to tiredness, but I intend to start going again soon. I was going to go today after work but I was lured out to the pub for a couple of beers by my old buddy Martin Tocker, who was in Glasgow doing Xmas shopping.

Well, so far so good - I reckon as long as I stick to a good, regular sleep pattern, the work may potentially become enjoyable in some aspects. Fingers crossed! I've got a busy weekend ahead; going out tomorrow for a double birthday celebration and the much-hyped flat party is on Saturday! My concern is that these festivities might place my sleep pattern back in jeopardy but I'll just have to wait and see.

Tedium building

Today was essentially my first day of work. As I said previously, I'm (or will be) a Customer Service Advisor for Scottish Power. The training period lasts 4 weeks and today was the first day. It was ok. I'm among about 200 others starting and I'll be part of a team so there is plenty opportunity to meet new people. We were split into groups of about 20, and did some "team building" exercises, to help get to know everyone. It was more like tedium building; I was only in between 11am and 4.15pm but the day really did drag on.

This wasn't helped by the fact that I only had about 3-4 hours sleep. This is because the central heating in our flat was on constant all night, and although I went to bed around 11.30pm with good intentions, I didn't actually get to sleep until about 4.30am!! It was terrible, as the searing heat from my radiator made it too uncomfortable to sleep. So, I hear you ask, why didn't I turn off my radiator? Well, it's not as simple as that, because the way it works in the flat is that the radiators have no individual controls, and so they are either all on or all off at once. Unfortunately someone had the bright idea of leaving the heating on constant all night and it wasn't pleasant! What's more, the controls are in Alistair's room and by the time I realised that it was on constant, Alistair was fast asleep so I didn't want to wake him. Instead I just suffered the baking heat.

I'm hoping that from now on the heating will always be off at night and that I can finally get into a regular rhythm of sleep - I badly need it, as I haven't slept properly for several nights now! Having something to get up for in the mornings should help!

It's strange now that I'm working after so long doing nothing, but I'll have to get used to it. From a financial point of view I don't actually have to, but I chose to now for a variety of reasons:

• It will force me into a proper pattern of sleep once and for all.
  
• Experience! I've never had a proper job, never mind a full-time job. If I last, it should be a good CV booster.
  
• Call centre work is a great way to meet people.
  
• Doing this sort of thing will make me appreciate the value of a degree-related engineering job.
  
• I'll value my leisure time more.
  
• I'll feel like a better person overall (that's the theory, anyway!).
  
• The extra money wont hurt - at least now my bank balance may occasionally increment.
  
• Don't want to leave too big a gap in my CV.
  

Assuming I stick in at it, and once I've settled in, I hope to satisfy the following short-term plans:

• Purchase some new guitars and record a full album of songs.
  
• Go to the gym regularly and improve my fitness.
  
• Improve my social life - go out more etc.
  

Suffice to say that after (not even) a full day at work, I already appreciate my free time. Compare to before when I had free time all the time and my life felt unstructured and bland. After starting, my first instinct was "oh no I'm going to hate this", but my hope is I'll get used to it and when the proper work starts, perhaps even enjoy it. It's a well-known fact that most people don't last long in call-centre jobs, but I hope to go the distance and at least stay for a couple of months, before greener pastures may beckon.

The stuff of nightmares

A while back I spotted this picture of a clown. After colouring his teeth and the whites of his eyes in with black ink, I couldn't help but notice how terrifying he looks. Scarier, I reckon, than Stephen King's IT...




Aren't clowns scary?

Strange semi-coincidence: Last night I went round to visit my sister and we were watching a film called People I Know, starring Al Pacino and Kim Basinger (mediocre film, don't bother). Now, having not seen or heard of Kim Basinger for ages, and seeing her in this film, this got me thinking: "Wow, she's not bad at all for her age. She must be about 50. How old exactly is she?" Strangely, I was reading through a TV guide earlier, and lo and behold, there was a picture of Kim Basinger, with a caption which read: "Kim Basinger will be 51..." - question answered! The strange thing here is that I'd not seen her of heard of her for a long time. She is very hot for 51.

Also, on the subject of IT, I recently went for an interview with a software firm based in Glasgow city centre. Guess what? I got the job!! Guess what else? The starting salary is £25K p.a.

Actually, that was a joke. Just clowning around.

Time for another phase shift, dear reader...

I'm currently in the Tinderbox, the coffee shop on Byres Rd. Sometimes the broadband connection in here is painfully slow so it's just your luck whether or not you come in at a good time. Fortunately it seems to be running smoothly. I haven't been going up to Boyd Orr for illegitimate internet access recently, as I always feel edgy venturing into the 4th year CS lab - especially when it's busy. Guilt, perhaps? Apparently you can access the net from the Mitchell library for free, but I'll need to join and can't be bothered right now.

At the moment I'm trying to force myself into a "normal" pattern of sleep, in time for starting my new job on Monday. Currently I'm going to bed at midnight and trying to wake at 9am. I managed it fine on Wednesday night but last night I couldn't get to sleep until about 4am! I woke at 9 (by my alarm), but drifted off again until 10.45 - which by my lazy-ass standards still isn't bad! This sudden "phase shift" isn't good for body or mind, but in my experience, there is usually a 3-4 day threshold to cross before you feel normal again. Initially though, there is a couple of days of feeling like shit. I reckon another day and I should be feeling fresher. So why do I need to do this so frequently, you ask? Well, I'm not sure why, but I have this habit of falling into a nocturnal pattern (if I've nothing to get up for) and when needs must, I have to force myself out of it. As for the job, I've got an induction today in which I've to sign a contract etc, and I start training on Monday.

I've seen at couple of good films recently, at the UGC. After a long break (by my standards) from watching films - just over a week to be precise - I decided to go to the cinema again. On Wednesday I saw "I Heart Huckabees", which is sort of an "existential comedy". It's really good; highly original, entertaining and funny. Yesterday I saw "Bad Santa". Well, what can I say, this was downright hilarious from start to finish, and stars a perfectly-cast Billy Bob Thornton as an alcoholic, womanising department-store santa. It's the best christmas movie I've ever seen, and is a refreshing change from all those crappy, cheesy xmas movies we are so accustomed to.

Moving on, when I was in the kitchen the other day, I had a look at the list thing on the wall (on which we write who has paid which bills etc), and the list of people who have bought power cards (in sequence) read: Dunc, Estelle, Ali, Ruth, Ruth, Estelle, Ali, Dunc, Estelle, Ruth. Taking the first initials in order spells out the words:

DEAR READER

Spooky eh? So without further ado...

Dear reader, you are invited to a party at mine on Sat 11th December (that is, assuming I haven't already invited you and you know how to contact me). Just get in touch by phone or comment and I'll give you the necessary details. Should be fun.

P.s. I made the bills sequence thing up for the purposes of a good story.